I sat at Panera Bread for 45 minutes before my order was taken.

Just kidding, Panera Bread doesn’t work that way.  But my latest trip there doesn’t get much better.

So I’m in Williamsburg doing the Great Wolf Lodge thing right?  Not content to give ALL my money to the Wolf (save the evacuation of my wallet for the Mouse) we decided to go out to lunch.  My first suggestion was to try something new in the area.  That’s how we found an awesome Mexican place.  But I was overruled and we went to Panera Bread.

Now, I almost like Panera Bread.  For what it is, McDonald’s with bread, it isn’t bad.  If you have low expectations, I find you are almost always happily surprised.

We went in to order, and of course I have to scrutinize everything I eat in order to stay away from MSG, NaNO3 and NaNO2.  Their ham of course has Sodium Nitrite in it, so I have to avoid it.

I saw a sign there that said, “Back by popular demand,” or some other slogan that makes you think people were pounding on the windows for a sandwich “our Lobster something or other sandwich.”  I asked if it was real lobster, and it was.  Plus one for Panera Bread.

So I got that, and so did my wife.

I got my plate, and it had two good size parts of the sandwich, an apple (that I always wonder if they wash) and a pickle.  Nestled right next to the pickle was a 13 inch hair.  I got a little grossed out, but not grossed out enough to wait for another sandwich to be made (by the same follicle losing person anyway).

However, when my wife got to the last 5 bites of her sandwich, she flipped it over to find an aphid squashed up against the bottom of the bread.  They say these are good luck, but when you then start to wonder if the previous crunches were lobster or bugs, it doesn’t go well.

I took it back up to the serving counter, and they refunded our money back.  $15.10.

Yeah, it’s an expensive sandwich.  Oh, and the quality.  Well, I guess it is OK.  It comes with a watery kind of white sauce (I’d actually call it more of a wash).  The lobster doesn’t smell or anything, but it certainly doesn’t have any good flavor.  I ended up putting Gulden’s mustard on the last 6 bites of my sandwich just to give it some flavor.  For that amount of money, I would have expected more.

Oh, this sandwich comes with just the lobster, bread and lettuce.  No tomato or onion.

But it does come with a pickle…. and some hair… and a lady bug for good luck.